Hello all!!!

Hello all!

Well I guess the countdown to Christmas has begun, December kind of snuck up on me from behind this year. I really do not know where the past month has gone; my three month mark was Friday! The fifth of December. Go me! You know, I never would have thought it possible for a day to crawl by so slow, yet at the same time have a month slip through my fingers and whiz by in an instant. It seems as if hours crawl by slower than I ever imagined possible at school, yet as soon as the bell rings and I’m out the doors (into the city, free!) the afternoon is over before I can remember what I’ve done. When I’m in school it seems as if it pleases Time to torture me, by not only going ridiculously slow, but by jumping backwards whenever I chance to glace at my watch. I try to not look at my watch too often and only let myself look when I’m absolutely sure I’ve suffered at least forty-five of the fifty-five minutes of that particular subject. Time however likes to show me that he’s the same now as he was two minutes ago though, just to play with me. It drives me crazy. I never thought an hour could be so long. School this past week wasn’t so bad however, but that’s probably because I didn’t go Monday, Friday, or Saturday. I also didn’t have to go today (Monday). A week with as little school as possible is always a very, very good week, as last week was only three days for me. Monday there was a sciopero, or strike, of the public transportation, again. I’ve explained those to y’all already right? Completely pointless, funny things that accomplish absolutely nothing except to get me out of school for the day, and for this I am extremely thankful. Mondays are rather funny days at school for me anyway; in the morning I have the first two hours specifically to go to the computer lab to write on my blog (which as you’ve figured out, rarely happens). I’m very thankful to my school for being so nice as to give me those two hours, and it’s really nice to start out my week like that by myself for a bit, to reflect on my past week and jot down all the glorious happenings… except I think I’ve used the time to actually do this and write on my blog like, once. I prefer to write entries like this; sitting on the couch in my sweats and hoodie, just after taking a lovely nap, while Italian oldies are being played in the background and water is being heated on the stove for tea. Ok actually right now water isn’t being heated, although I wish it were. A tea would be marvelous right about now, just hit the spot so to say.

Back to school and the two hours I’ve kind of designated as facebooking and gmailing hours instead of blogging. It is very nice except then in the afternoon I have two hours by myself again, this time designated as “individual study hours” for me to go sit in a room and study Italian. However, what really ends up happening is two more hours in front of the computer. I do my Italian studying in class! I have p-l-e-n-t-y of time to study, believe me. So Monday is quite honestly, not a very important day for me (well I mean it is, it’s wonderful to have access to the outside world through the world wide web, and the world of home that I love and adore so much, but I can afford to miss a four-hour computer day without inflicting too much harm on myself). Needless to say, Monday, with the excuse of a sciopero, wasn’t too difficult to get out of school for. My host parents are pretty cool about that. Then Tuesday, I think I erased from my memory the moment the bell rang, same with Wednesday, oh and Thursday too. Friday is the same as Monday with respect to the two hours in the afternoon to “study” by myself. However this past Friday the German teacher wasn’t going to be there, so I would have had three hours straight by myself. To me, three hours of economy and math (this math is like, pre-algebra stuff that I think I did two years ago at least) and then three hours by myself does NOT justify waking up at 6 in the morning. So I got Friday off too. Monday I think I hung out with Kailee… Friday I did too. Today I hung out with Michele though, this great girl I’ve met through the church who’s here as a nanny. This past weekend, Saturday Sunday and today, was a holiday for Milan and there was a MASSIVE festival outside of Milan and also a smaller one inside near the castle.

Well I just finished a wonderful dinner. My host dad made foccachia, which is this flat bread with cheese inside. The dough is made with white wine (that’s probably why it was so good, ha!) and the cheese here is sempre buonissimo. It was really really good. Before dinner, while I was typing this earlier, my family called! I guess I haven’t called in a few days and my mommy was wondering how I was doing. I had a great great talk, with her for a long time, Kathryn, Jonathan, and for a little bit with my daddy. I’m doing MUCH better than I was last Monday- one week ago. Last Monday, I don’t know what exactly was wrong (it could have something to do with the fact that I’m in another country by myself and it’s beginning to wear on me… just an idea) but I called my mom and I was just mad about a lot of things and was fully prepared to whine and complain about all of them. The conversation started out great, because it’s always wonderful to talk to my mom (or any other members of my family, they have a way of making me feel so much better… my friends are quite capable of that too), but then I just started to get angry. I then got a bit mad at myself though because I’m this far away from my family and the last thing I should be doing on the phone is being crabby and whiney. I started to feel really lonely and angry, and as the conversation went on all those nasty emotions began to surface that I think had been brewing up all week deep somewhere and I finally broke down in tears. It really came as a surprise to me that I started to cry, because prior to the call I had thought I was doing alright. I had thought I might be an exception to what Rotary had told all of us about kids having a hard time around December and January. I thought I was putting up with and handling stuff fairly well. I was wrong. I was tired (still am tired geez), no, I was exhausted, and I just snapped. I didn’t start sobbing, but the tears came, and try as I could to cover up the shakiness in my voice, there’s no hiding anything from my mom. She’s pretty sharp. After the phone call I felt I hadn’t “gotten it all out” and the tears kept coming after I hung up. I had no idea I could get this drained.

I think this feeling is something only other exchange students can truly understand, or really just anyone else who has gone to live in a different country without knowing anything prior about the language. Every day is a challenge, and for me it is so hard to get up in the dark, to get ready to take a crowded bus full of grumpy people, to walk to school in the noisy city to a school that looks like it was originally intended to be a prison, and sit for six hours. I mean it’s getting better, learning Italian, and when someone is talking directly to me I can generally understand what they’re saying. When a teacher is lecturing in English back home however sometimes it’s even hard to pay attention. Now imagine that professor is talking in Italian or French, and what he’s saying is directed to everyone in the class except you, it’d be real hard to find motivation to pay attention to what he’s saying now wouldn’t it? Needless to say, it’s really hard to find motivation to get up in the mornings. It’s always dark and freezing cold when I wake up, occasionally rainy. The bus is always too loud and every morning these same people get on who smell like a barnyard. The city air smells horrible in the morning to a nose that’s used to the sweet country air of North Carolina mornings. The school looks like the kind of building, in the grey morning, that could house a host of diseases, from tetanus to influenza. Half my class doesn’t talk to me, and the other half sometimes I wish they wouldn’t. My teachers are all nice enough but being nice only helps so much when you’re trying to understand what they’re saying to you. From what I can tell my entire class is incredibly lazy, and five students failed the previous year. I feel like I’ve been stuck in Computer Apps I STANDARD at Owen High School, and I just want to know, is this some kind of JOKE? Today, let’s see, what did I do in class?? I read a book, wrote a few postcards, and asked how to say “How are you” in French. It has been bugging me lately though, the whole school thing. I feel like I could be doing something else, something useful, at the school that, even if it wouldn’t benefit me, would at least benefit someone else. Right now sitting in that dreadful room half the day isn’t benefiting anyone. If you want you could pray that I find something else to do in that school to be a help. I want to leave that school making somewhat of an imprint if even just a little mark.

I think I’ve written enough about school for this entry, now… I’m going to write about church!!! I can’t remember what I’ve written about church already, but I’ve found one (yay!) and have been going for a little over a month. I’ve also been twice to the young adult’s bible study, which has been awesome. The pastor is great, his wife is so sweet, and the couple who run the music and young adult stuff, Adam and Heather, are awesome. It's called ICM, International Church of Milan (there's a website). Service is Sunday evening from 5:30-7, and everyone meets at the metro stop Famagosta at 5 to get rides to the church. It’s a very small group, but it’s so cool because I can look around that small room every night and see people from all over the world. I just think, “Look at us all. We’re from different countries; all here in Milan at the same time together and all brought together, in this small little room, by Christ.” The music is great, and I might’ve said this earlier but I didn’t realize how much, in only a couple months, how much I’d missed singing and worship until I went that first night.

Here’s a cool story that happened just this past weekend, at church. Maybe the second Sunday I went to church, I mentioned to Adam that I would be interested in singing Sunday nights. I’ve always wanted to sing for church, I’ve just never had the guts to go for it before. Adam said he’d love to put me on the list, and last week I got an email saying that I was scheduled to sing this past Sunday. Oh boy, now we’ll all find out if this is my first and last time singing in church. I have no idea how good (or bad) of a singer I am. So this Sunday I was planning on going to church, as normal. I had arranged to meet Michele in the morning so we could go to this massive festival together in the afternoon, and then we’d head to church together. However, Saturday night Kailee sent me a text message inviting me to her host parent’s lake house for the night Sunday and day Monday. They were already there, but I could simply take a train for an hour Sunday afternoon and they would pick me up at the station. It was very tempting. It sounded like so much fun, and I had practically made up my mind that instead of going to church I’d just hop on the train after shopping with Michele. There was the fact that I was supposed to sing for church, and I put that into consideration, but I figured it wouldn’t be too horrible if I didn’t go. They had other people scheduled to sing that night too, no one was depending on just me. Saturday night I didn’t send a text back right away saying yes, but I didn’t send one saying no either. I decided to decide in the morning. When I woke up the decision wasn’t as easy as I thought it was going to be. I knew I should go to church, but I wanted to go to the lake. I said a prayer, and told God I’d check my email and the song list for that evening and then make my decision.

Now first, let me tell you a short story about Halcy when she was little. I had a song, “My life is in you Lord,” that one night when I was very little I sang at the top of my raspy little voice while my parents videotaped. They swear they’re going to pull it out on my wedding night; it’s a bit of a classic for them. All through my life whenever we heard that song it would remind my parents of that one night and me singing, and even when they were just talking about when I was little sometimes they’d bring it up. So over time that song became a bit of “little Halcy’s song.”
So it’s Sunday morning, I go online, log into Gmail and open the email. I scroll down to the attachment of the songs for that evening and click. The screen opens, and right there, the first song, at the top of the list, is My Life is in You Lord. “That’s it, I’m going,” is exactly what went through my mind. I texted Kailee, told her I was sorry I couldn’t go, I really wanted to, but I had promised to sing at church. And that was exactly what I was going to do. It was the coolest thing to get that kind of an answer from God, he has quite a wonderful sense of humor you know. I don’t know how well I did, singing, but I loved it, and Adam asked if I wanted to again, so I must not have been that bad!

Sunday night I slept over at Michele’s house because the family she is working for was out of town and she had the weekend off to stay in Milan by herself. Monday I had school off and we decided to walk basically all over Milan, it was so great. We slept in late, made a delicious breakfast of French toast, scrambled eggs, kiwi, and tea. Then we walked from around ten to two, it was ridiculous! We went from Cadorna to Via Montanapoleone to San Ambrogio to Cadorna again! Then we bought lunch and I headed home, walking for another hour down to Porta Romania to the stop for bus 77. I take bus 77 which I think is pretty dang cool. Seven happens to be one of my favorite numbers.

Well well, there is so much more I’d like to write about, but for tonight, and I think for this entry, I’m done. This entry is rather lengthy isn’t it?? I guess my blogging style is the long and long between type, instead of the frequent, steady, and shorter types.

I love and miss every single one of you very much. I’m so incredibly thankful for your prayers, emails, and letters, and sometimes don’t really feel like I deserve it. I think I’ve got the greatest family and friends ever.

All my love from all the way over here,

Until the next time,

Halcyon